Ungodly Humor: I’m surely going to hell for this stuff. God told me so.

For heaven’s sake, it’s only humor sure to make you laugh like hell.

Vytas Stoskus

--

The reason things have not been going very well for me is because I don’t believe in god. S/he/it knows, is pissed as hell, & is taking it out on me. God save me!

Future Home, Main Entrance ©Vytas Stoskus, 2022

The way the story goes, it was about 13.5 billion years ago, that one got away. What got away? Well, it was a big one called the Big Bang. That’s the astronomical euphemism for Cosmic Fart. When asked about it, god just mutters, “Oh, it was nothing.” It may have been nothing for god, but it’s a little more than nothing for us which is why we’re in deep doo-doo now.

I’m really bummed out. Being an atheist & nonbeliever in reincarnation or any other afterlife, I’ll miss out on being able to say “I told you so!” to all the believers. I will also be deprived of being eternally pissed that I did not get to know what the purpose of all this existence is, how it came to be, or where it’s heading.

The reason most of the world doesn’t hear from The Creator any more is because s/he/it lost her/his/its license to operate after creating the debacle called “humanity.”

— -

All right, all right, I’m not completely godless. There are times when I cry out to god — -when experiencing excruciating pain or having an orgasm.

Better Than Hot Tubs ©Vytas Stoskus, 2022

I’m constantly doing an “Omm” meditation, or something similar. Whenever surprised, disappointed, frustrated, I’m forever muttering, “Ohhhmmmy god . . . .”

— -

How about that — -God failing to show up on ARMAGEDDON DAY, December 12, 2012! Then again, if I’d created this mess, I’d be afraid to show my face, too.

— -

St. Peter, while conducting an admission interview at the Pearly Gates, asks the religious applicant if he’s had a happy life.

He assures Peter that, “Yes, I did. I had a very happy life.”

--

--

Vytas Stoskus

Social psychologist, psychotherapist (Worldwide thru Skype), conflict mediator; organizational, creativity, & unschooling consultant; Heretic, outside agitator.